The Theo Epstein All-Stars

I've been meaning to write this for a few days now, in light of some terrible pitching performances by Red Sox starters. Namely John Lackey. Never hated the Lackey signing per se, but never understood it fully either. I mean sure, Lackey had a solid run in Anaheim. In parts of 8 seasons, he won 102 games, posted a 3.81 ERA, threw 200+ innings four times, finished third in Cy Young voting one year. Not bad, right? But by no means great either.

Only two seasons did he have an ERA below 3.50 (2005, 2007); never struck out 200 batters; and in his final two seasons, he missed roughly 15 starts combined due to various injuries. And aside from 2007, a year in which he went 19-9 with a 3.01 ERA, did he ever have what you would consider a dominant season? Are those numbers even considered dominant? Check out his profile and you tell me.

So despite some red flags with Lackey, the fact that he was never truly an ace, the injuries, and good-but-not-great numbers, Theo decided to give Lackey a 5 year, $82 million contract. In an off-season where he openly admitted it would be a "bridge year". Huh? Lackey has become the JD Drew of the rotation. In fact, he's on pace to surpass JD as my least favorite Sox player by the end of April if he doesn't get his sh!t together.

My point here? Theo develops infatuations with players for whatever reason and tends to pay them well above market value at times. I'm pro-Theo, all things considered. He's made some great moves while in Boston; but boy, have there been some head-scratchers too. Here's the starting lineup of the Theo Epstein "All-Stars":

Leading off, at SS, Julio Lugo


The poster child of everything that's gone wrong at the shortstop position since Nomar Garciaparra was jettisoned in 2004. Lugo was supposed to be the rock, the next franchise shortstop. The guy who could play some great D and hit the ball pretty well for a middle infielder. And to be fair, Lugo did have a nice 3+ year run in Tampa Bay prior to joining Boston. But remember, he was traded to the Dodgers in 2006 before reaching free agency, where he promptly hit .219 with a .545 OPS and no home runs in 49 games. Not the biggest sample size, no, but for someone who had also had the reputation as a head case (he once was arrested for beating his wife), shouldn't that have been enough to deter interest?

Lugo was a disaster in every sense of the word in Boston. He hit .237 his first year in Boston, completely flopping as a leadoff man (hence he'll lead off in this batting order), and played shoddy-at-best defense in the field. His one plus-side that first year, 33 stolen bases, never re-surfaced in 2008; his total sunk to 12. He hit just one home run that year, and by the time 2009 rolled around, it became clear that the Lugo signing was a lost cause. Theo had to bring back Alex Gonzalez mid-season, which is ironic because he was the shortstop prior to Lugo and the Sox never should have let him leave in the first place. Naturally Theo let him walk again and signed Marco Scutaro. Let's just get off the topic of Theo's shortstop escapades before I bring up Edgar Renteria.

Batting second, at DH, Jeremy Giambi


I'm not mad at Theo for this one. I'm pretty sure he just saw the last name 'Giambi' and figured why the hell not. Coming into the 2003 season, this Giambi signing was bigger news than the signing of David Ortiz, Bill Mueller, or Kevin Millar. All four signings were considered low risk, high reward. Three outta four ain't bad. But Giambi couldn't even hit above the Mendoza Line in his brief time here, and was out of baseball by the end of the season. The lesson, as always: just because the older brother pans out doesn't mean the younger will. Hank Aaron vs. Tommy Aaron. Cal and Billy Ripken. Peyton vs. Eli. Jake Levin and Jesse Levin. See what I mean?

Batting third, at 1B, JT Snow


Like with Giambi, this one really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. But let's say Kevin Youkilis didn't work out at first in 2006. JT had just 4 RBI in 53 games, hit .204, and left his gold glove out in San Francisco. Granted the Sox had their worst season of the Theo era in 2006 (86-76), but yeesh, it coulda been even worse if JT was forced into playing everyday.

Batting cleanup, in CF, Mike Cameron


Don't get me wrong, Cameron was at one time a helluva ball player. Truly a 5-tool player in his heyday. But at age 37, Theo decided it would be a good idea to have Cameron play centerfield while the younger Jacoby Ellsbury, who had proven himself to be a very good defender in center, slide over to the much smaller left field beneath the Green Monster. I mean why have your most agile outfielder play the same position Manny Ramirez made look easy? Cameron's offensive game is almost non-existent at this point, rendering him our fifth outfielder behind the immortal Darnell McDonald.

Alright I'm off to Fenway for Sox-Yanks tonight, better not start 1-8. Part II will be finished up tomorrow. If you'll notice, I haven't gotten to seventh in the batting order yet. Just think about who usually bats 7th and that's all you need to know.