NFL Week 2 Picks

It's easy to forget just how great these Autumn Sunday's can be. Having the NFL back on puts the Funday back in Sunday. The more things change, the more they stay the same. The Cleveland Browns spent a 1st round pick on a 28-year old quarterback who posted a 5.1 quarterback rating. Anytime a QB rating is just three points higher than my GPA, that should be a major red flag.

What else stayed the same in Week 1? How about the Patriots offense looking as spry and dynamic as ever. Gronkowski and Hernandez had about as close to identical stats as you can get. Gronk: 6 catches, 60 yards, 1 TD. Hernandez: 6 catches, 59 yards, 1 TD. Is it a stretch to say the Patriots have the best two tight ends in the NFL? I'll spot Jimmy Graham and maybe Vernon Davis (despite being denied by the crossbar). But having two of the top four tight ends in the league is a luxury that, well.....it really makes you laugh about the Ben Watson and Daniel Graham days. Alright Grahmer was a decent blocker but lets move on.

After a fairly sluggish 2011 picking games, finishing well below .500, I got off and running last week. 10-6, against the spread? If I were a degenerate gambler I would've been buying everyone rounds at Bon Vue this past week, I'll leave it at that. Straight cash homie. But how do I avoid a Week 2 let down? It's quite simple. Certain things just CAN'T happen. For instance, Thursday night's game, Green Bay vs. Chicago? I would've bet my left testicle the Pack would prevail. Why? A team that went 15-1 a year ago isn't going to start 0-2 at home. Can't happen, won't happen. Easy money.

So that's basically the key: there's certain things which after surveying the previous season just simply can't and won't happen. Think the Steelers are going to start 0-2 against a Revis-less Jets team? I'm saying lay out your "Terrible Towels" on Revis Island today. Patriots losing a home opener for the first time since like 1994? Yeah that ain't happening either. Just remember these things as you read through my picks.

Last Week: 10-6
Season: 11-6
This Week: 1-0
Locks of the Week: 1-0 (Patriots over Titans)

Home team in CAPS

GIANTS (-8) over Buccaneers

Here's another easy one for the law of averages. The worst defending Super Bowl champions of all time won't start 0-2. Although it would be comical that they'd be 9-9 in their last 18 regular season games. But remember kids, you can't spell "Elite" without "Eli". Or something.

PATRIOTS (-13.5) over Cardinals

What happened the last time the Patriots played the Cardinals back in 2008? New England won 47-7. Arizona later went to the Super Bowl and the Patriots missed the playoffs despite going 11-5. Keep in mind Kurt Warner was under center for the Cards that today; today, it's Kevin Kolb. Absolutely no bitterness about the 9-7 Cardinals making it to the Super Bowl that year though (and damn near winning). I just don't get it sometimes.

COLTS (+3) over Vikings

Does Andrew Luck get outplayed by Christian Ponder? No, no he doesn't. Jim Irsay will be pulling all the punches he can for Indy's home field advantage. By the way, top follows on twitter in no particular order: @thechrisburnham, @DanaB_Number3, @FauxJohnMadden, @buffspartan28, and @JimIrsay. For what it's worth.

PANTHERS (+3) over Saints

My buddy Robert Danis, freshman at Elon University in North Carolina, is attending Cam's home opener today. More jealous I could not be. He asked me who I had in this game, and obviously I went with Cam. My explanation? It's his world, we're just living in it.

BILLS (-3) over Chiefs

I picked Buffalo to win an AFC wild-card. Can't abandon ship after just one week. Remember, the 2003 Patriots lost their season opener 31-0 on their way to winning the Super Bowl. Just disregard that Tom Brady was the quarterback in that one, and Ryan Fitzpatrick is in this one, and it makes perfect sense.

Ravens (+3) over EAGLES

I'd say 99% of the time, lines in the NFL make sense. This is the 1%. Baltimore won 44-13 in Week 1. Philadelphia did win, 17-16, but it was against the Browns and Mike Vick had 4 interceptions. I don't get it but take these three free points, they don't come around often. Do I hear Lock of the Week? Yes, yes I do.

Raiders (-1.5) over DOLPHINS

Raiders have been favored in their first two games. Maybe the times are a-changin. They're still brutal, but not nearly as brutal the Ryan Tannehill Express. Did I mention his wife is a certified smokeshow though? It evens out for the kid.

BENGALS (-7) over Browns
Texans (-6.5) over JAGUARS

Mediocrity never wins, so why start now?

Cowboys (-3) over SEAHAWKS

I'm not saying I'm completely buying Tony Romo's Week 1 performance just yet, but I'm definitely jumping on the bandwagon if he can duplicate it in Seattle. Winning against the worst defending champs of all time on opening night, followed by an extremely difficult stadium to win in, Seattle? The Romocoaster is trending upwards.

Redskins (-3.5) over RAMS

The DC area now has RGIII, Bryce Harper, Steven Strasburg, and Alexander Ovechkin to root for. Not a bad haul from the days of Rex Grossman, no baseball team followed by Livan Hernandez, and Peter Bondra, is it?

STEELERS (-3.5) over Jets

Biggest mirage from Week 1? 48 points from the Jets, and it's not even close. I'll be surprised if they score 48 more points the rest of the month, especially without Dustin Keller today in the Steel City. Get ready for Skip Bayless tomorrow morning, in other words.

CHARGERS (-6.5) over Titans

For once, the Chargers are flying under the radar thanks to a certain surgically-repaired quarterback in Denver. Could be a role they thrive in, with tempered expectations. But if they finally figure out how to win in September and October under Norv Turner? Just remember to thank me when the Chargers are 6-2 and the national media picks up the scent.

49ERS (-7) over Lions

Rand University's most famous alum had his best game since leaving Foxboro, and I couldn't be happier for the man. I just wish he was still splitting through defense in our neck of the woods, but he sure looks like he's going to be more and more useful for the 49ers. If Peyton's neck falls apart, he's a lock for Comeback Player of the Year....

Broncos (+3) over FALCONS

....I'm not doctor, but Dr. Collinsworth put it this way last Sunday. So I'll close it out with the wise words of Cris Collinsworth himself: "I'm not sure how his neck feels, but his brain sure looks fine".